dAy 11: now what?

im loving the second minute that i have now but its all coming back to the wrong direction..how am i supposed to do???im trying so hard to change it but at the end it still the same..im so tired of all this..now i think i just want to be like i used to be 4 years ago...emo and no life..its better that way coz i wont be stress to much..im just tired!

dAy 10: new road

its totally a new thing for me..everyone enjoying themselves so do i..but i guess spending time with the love once is even better...its not about the place you go its about the people you spend time with..we laugh and smile but i knew something missing..the place where i belong is thousand miles from here and family n friends are thousand miles apart..these are the things tht i need to learn..learning to stand on my own..learning to miss them all and learning to miss him..life goes on no matter what happen..at the end of the day,i'll be me..

dAy 9: long trip

here we go..1,2,3, go 18 hours trip..its gonna b hell and fun..huih..but my day starts with meeting,meeting and meeting..from LA to Austin it is a long long journey..1 day in the car..huihhh...the sight seeing is really awesome and a good experience for me..

other than looking i've been thinking..thinking how to avoid other people getting hurt from my action..it's gonna be complicated then..i'll bet it is..well i must go on..need friend to talk too...its become more complicated i guess!

dAy 8:i'm scared

i guess i'm just too scared of losing that laugh..its annoying sometimes but i don't know why i like it so much..the teasing makes me happy actually..its really hard to make people fall for you but one thing good about it, it makes me realize tht i am human being..human that always get hurts and can't have everything that i wanna have..makes me realize tht i am just me..i am a normal person..i am being me and i am being what i wanna be!

dAy 7: you always think ur right

it's really unfair..u can't simply judge people..it's ok..u always rite btw..i just dont wanna say anythg anymore..u can say whatever u want..no more tears for me..im organizing my life again..making myself busy cos its the only thing that making me walking..silent is better then having it all mess up again..im not gonna cry cos one person taught me "its pointless crying over simple thing"..his right!totally right!

dAy 6: hmmmmmm

its not fun hurting people actually...but sometimes its really hard to make people understand..i've tolerate for so long and i think i should move on n b happy..no more hoping and sadness...it hurts..a lot..people don't see how i see things are and they thought i only play around...human are complicated..i do admit that i am complicated too..rite now i just want to make sure that i will not get hurt again..i know its hard cos nobody perfect but atleast i am trying..if he can't see that then i can't do anythg bout it...no more tears!

dAy 5: i'll be fine

it's kind da hard at first..nearly cried on the plane but i made it...i understand now how it feels to be thousand of miles away from the one tht we really love..it's life..its not like im dead! i hurt someone today..and honestly, i really don't know why..u'll b ok..trust me..life here is good..we even don't believe that we are here..its like in a dream but it is reality..seeing it all over again really is hard..it tk a lot of hard work and we are trying our best..my day without stress is no more when i got one ph called from KL..gosh its ruined my day..mayb i forgot how stressful i am back in KL..now its all coming back again like a super bullet train..arrrghhh leave me alone!